The Worst Kind of Torture
by MajorSamanthaCarter
Summary: You think fighting the Goa'uld is bad? try this!
1. Chapter 1

**The Worst Kind of Torture**

**Hey, peoples! I'm back! This story is based on a real-life experience (although I wish it wasn't!). Read on to discover what that experience was…**

"Hi-ya, Carter!" Colonel O'Neill greeted Major Samantha Carter, who waved back.

"Hey sir!" She didn't stop, but slowed down a little while he caught up to her.

"Did ya have a good weekend?" he asked

She grunted. "Sure. Was pretty boring through, and… no, never mind"

"And what?" he asked suddenly interested

"No, don't worry sir. It's a girl thing."

"Oh" He backed off –his marriage to Sarah had taught him that in most cases 'girl things' were dangerous.

He decided to pursue a different path.

"Watchya doin'?"

"Hm? Oh, I'm going to see Janet"

"Oh." Again, "I'll, um, leave you to it then" As the team had been away for the weekend, he was avoiding the infirmary at all costs, in case of 'big honkin' needles'.

***** In the Infirmary *****

"Hey Sam!" The little doctor greeted her bf with a smile, "How was your weekend?"

"Good, How was yours?"  
"Alright, but I was stuck on base. Did you go?"

"Go where?" Playing innocent, Sam brought out the puppy eyes, which don't exactly work when the victim of said eyes is shorter than you

"To the appointment," she said, a hint of irritation in her voice.

"What appointment?" Asked Sam, innocent as ever

"You know what I mean, Sam" Janet was as unaffected as ever by Sam's look.

She sighed in defeat "Yes, I went."

"And?"

"And I'm never going back. EVER!"

The little doctor grinned. "Aw, come on Sam! It wasn't that bad, was it? You've been through worse"

"Uh-uh. The Goa'uld have _nothing_ on this."

Janet rolled her eyes "Oh, please. I get it done every month! And it's not like it's the first time you've been."

"Well, yeah, but I normally just get my eyebrows done! And that hurts enough as it is. I normally just shave everywhere else. I honestly don't know how you survive that every month"

"Sure, sure. Stop exaggerating. Although I would have thought that _you_ of all people wouldn't be so pathetic. I mean, sure, you fight the Goa'uld and save the universe every other week, but when it comes to getting your legs waxed..."

Sam rolled her eyes. "Ha ha, very funny Janet. In the mean time, I think I'll just stick to shaving."

Having had enough of her friend (and her beauty treatments) Sam walked out, nearly bumping into Daniel as he came in.

"Sorry Daniel!" she kept walking

"Hi, Sam…" By the look on his face, Daniel had heard the last part of her and the doctor's conversation. He turned to Janet.

"Were you two talking about what I think you were talking about?" He asked, a look of confusion on his face.

"Don't ask Daniel, just don't ask"

"Uh-huh. Girl thing, right?"

"Yeah"

"You know, I think the Egyptians invented waxing" he added, almost as an afterthought, talking to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"C'mon, this is boring! Someone lose already!" Jack groaned. He, Teal'c, Daniel Sam and Janet were at his place for lunch. They'd already eaten, and so had decided to play a game of poker. Except that no-one was winning, and they'd been playing for ages.

I know!" said Daniel, "Why don't we make it more interesting? Something to raise the stakes a little?"

"I have an idea…" Janet had a dangerous glint in her eye "How about the loser has to get their legs waxed at the local beautician? And the winner has to pay!"

"Great idea!" Sam said, confident that she wasn't going to lose. The rest of the team echoed her, with less enthusiasm.

"Uh, sure …" Daniel suddenly wasn't so confident about this 'great idea'.

"I am unaware of this concept," said Teal'c. "What is waxing?"

Sam snorted. Of course he didn't! She didn't think Teal'c even had leg hair!!

In the end, Jack lost the game, and Janet had to pay.

She and Sam had to practically push Jack into the beautician, then, ignoring his protests, sat outside with the others and waited.

20 minutes later, a very upset O'Neill cam out, shooting a glare at Janet and Sam that would have caused anyone else to melt. As it was, they just smiled smugly.

"That had to be the worst kind of torture even invented!" he gasped "And you put yourselves through that _willingly_?" he looked at Sam and Janet, who both rolled their eyes.

"It's not _that_ bad" said Janet

"Uh-huh. Sure. I think I'd rather face a Goa'uld than go through that again. And that woman …." He trailed off at the thought of the lady who had done it and shuddered. "She enjoyed every minute of that! She was smiling through the whole thing, I swear! You know, she would make a really good System Lord, I mean, Lady. I mean, she even had the nerve to ask me if I wanted my eyebrows done as well!!!"

Daniel sniggered, mainly out of relief that it hadn't been him who lost the game.

Although the thought of a galaxy ruled solely by beautician ladies was a truly terrifying one.

He shuddered.

"C'mon guys, let's go home"

**And I shudder with you, Danny-boy… :) **

**For those of you lucky enough to have never gone through this horrible form of torture that is disguised as a beauty treatment… beautician ladies are some of the scariest people you will ever meet, with the possible exception of a certain few teachers at my school… *shudders again*. Ruthless, too. **

**But hey, you just go ahead and review. Don't let me stop you… **

**Go on. You know you want to! :)**

**:D MSC **


End file.
